Seasons and episodes
12Season 12Oct. 30, 2014
- 12 - 16Of Course He's Dead (2)Feb. 19, 2015
- 12 - 15Of Course He's Dead (1)Feb. 19, 2015
- 12 - 14Don't Give a Monkey a GunFeb. 12, 2015
- 12 - 13Boompa Loved His HookersFeb. 05, 2015
- 12 - 12A Beer Battered Rip-OffJan. 29, 2015
- 12 - 11For Whom the Booty CallsJan. 22, 2015
- 12 - 10Here I Come, Pants!Jan. 15, 2015
- 12 - 9Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, LyndseyJan. 08, 2015
- 12 - 8Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried TurkeyDec. 18, 2014
- 12 - 7Sex with an Animated Ed AsnerDec. 11, 2014
- 12 - 6Alan Shot a Little GirlDec. 04, 2014
- 12 - 5Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.Nov. 27, 2014
- 12 - 4Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-EightNov. 20, 2014
- 12 - 3Glamping in a YurtNov. 13, 2014
- 12 - 2A Chic Bar in IbizaNov. 06, 2014
- 12 - 1The Ol' Mexican SpinachOct. 30, 2014
11Season 11Sep. 26, 2013
- 11 - 22Oh, WALD-E, Good Times AheadMay. 08, 2014
- 11 - 21Dial 1-900-Mix-A-LotMay. 01, 2014
- 11 - 20Lotta Delis in Little ArmeniaApr. 24, 2014
- 11 - 19Daddy's Got a Healthy Flavor StickApr. 10, 2014
- 11 - 18West Side StoryApr. 03, 2014
- 11 - 17Welcome Home, JakeMar. 13, 2014
- 11 - 16How to Get Rid of Alan HarperMar. 06, 2014
- 11 - 15Cab Fare and a Bottle of PenicillinFeb. 27, 2014
- 11 - 14Three Fingers of Creme de MentheFeb. 06, 2014
- 11 - 13Bite Me, Supreme CourtJan. 30, 2014
- 11 - 12Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.Jan. 09, 2014
- 11 - 11Tazed In The Lady NutsJan. 02, 2014
- 11 - 10On vodka, on soda, on blender, on Mixer!Dec. 12, 2013
- 11 - 9Numero Uno Accidente LawyerDec. 05, 2013
- 11 - 8Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.Nov. 21, 2013
- 11 - 7Some Kind of Lesbian ZombieNov. 14, 2013
- 11 - 6Justice in Star-Spangled Hot PantsNov. 07, 2013
- 11 - 5Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003Oct. 24, 2013
- 11 - 4Clank, Clank, Drunken SkankOct. 17, 2013
- 11 - 3This Unblessed BiscuitOct. 10, 2013
- 11 - 2I Think I Banged Lucille BallOct. 03, 2013
- 11 - 1NangnangnangnangSep. 26, 2013
10Season 10Sep. 27, 2012
- 10 - 23Cows, Prepare to Be TippedMay. 09, 2013
- 10 - 22My Bodacious VidaliaMay. 02, 2013
- 10 - 21Another Night With Neil DiamondApr. 25, 2013
- 10 - 20Bazinga! That's From a TV ShowApr. 04, 2013
- 10 - 19Big Episode: Someone Stole a SpoonMar. 14, 2013
- 10 - 18The 9:04 From PembertonMar. 07, 2013
- 10 - 17Throgwarten Middle School MysteriesFeb. 21, 2013
- 10 - 16Advantage: Fat, Flying BabyFeb. 14, 2013
- 10 - 15Paint It, Pierce It or Plug ItFeb. 07, 2013
- 10 - 14Run Steven Staven! Run!Jan. 31, 2013
- 10 - 13Grab A Feather And Get In LineJan. 10, 2013
- 10 - 12Welcome to AlancrestJan. 03, 2013
- 10 - 11Give Santa a Tail-HoleDec. 13, 2012
- 10 - 10One Nut JohnsonDec. 06, 2012
- 10 - 9I Scream When I PeeNov. 29, 2012
- 10 - 8Something My Gynecologist SaidNov. 15, 2012
- 10 - 7Avoid the Chinese MustardNov. 08, 2012
- 10 - 6Ferrets, Attack!Nov. 01, 2012
- 10 - 5That's Not What They Call It In AmsterdamOct. 25, 2012
- 10 - 4You Do Know What The Lollipop Is ForOct. 18, 2012
- 10 - 3Four Balls, Two Bats and One MittOct. 11, 2012
- 10 - 2A Big Bag of DogOct. 04, 2012
- 10 - 1I Changed My Mind About the MilkSep. 27, 2012
9Season 9Sep. 19, 2011
- 9 - 24Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!May. 14, 2012
- 9 - 23The Straw In My Donut HoleMay. 07, 2012
- 9 - 22Why We Gave Up WomenApr. 30, 2012
- 9 - 21Mr. Hose Says YesApr. 16, 2012
- 9 - 20Grandma's PieApr. 09, 2012
- 9 - 19Palmdale, EchMar. 19, 2012
- 9 - 18The War Against GingivitisFeb. 27, 2012
- 9 - 17Not In My MouthFeb. 20, 2012
- 9 - 16Sips, Sonnets and SodomyFeb. 13, 2012
- 9 - 15The Duchess of Dull-in-SackFeb. 06, 2012
- 9 - 14A Possum on ChemoJan. 16, 2012
- 9 - 13Slowly and in a Circular FashionJan. 02, 2012
- 9 - 12One False Move, Zimbabwe!Dec. 12, 2011
- 9 - 11A Lovely Landing StripDec. 05, 2011
- 9 - 10Fishbowl Full of Glass EyesNov. 21, 2011
- 9 - 9Frodo's HeadshotsNov. 14, 2011
- 9 - 8Thank You For The IntercourseNov. 07, 2011
- 9 - 7Those Fancy Japanese ToiletsOct. 31, 2011
- 9 - 6The Squat and The HoverOct. 24, 2011
- 9 - 5A Giant Cat Holding ChurroOct. 17, 2011
- 9 - 4Nine Magic FingersOct. 10, 2011
- 9 - 3Big Girls Don't Throw FoodOct. 03, 2011
- 9 - 2People Who Love PeepholesSep. 26, 2011
- 9 - 1Nice to Meet You, Walden SchmidtSep. 19, 2011
8Season 8Sep. 20, 2010
- 8 - 16That Darn PriestFeb. 14, 2011
- 8 - 15Three Hookers and a Philly CheesesteakFeb. 07, 2011
- 8 - 14Lookin' for Japanese SubsJan. 17, 2011
- 8 - 13Skunk, Dog Crap and KetchupJan. 03, 2011
- 8 - 12Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's DeadDec. 13, 2010
- 8 - 11Dead From the Waist DownDec. 06, 2010
- 8 - 10Ow, Ow, Don't StopNov. 22, 2010
- 8 - 9A Good Time In Central AfricaNov. 15, 2010
- 8 - 8Springtime on a StickNov. 08, 2010
- 8 - 7The Crazy Bitch GazetteNov. 01, 2010
- 8 - 6Twanging Your Magic ClangerOct. 25, 2010
- 8 - 5The Immortal Mr. Billy JoelOct. 18, 2010
- 8 - 4Hookers, Hookers, HookersOct. 11, 2010
- 8 - 3A Pudding-Filled CactusOct. 04, 2010
- 8 - 2A Bottle of Wine and a JackhammerSep. 27, 2010
- 8 - 1Three Girls and a Guy Named BudSep. 20, 2010
7Season 7Sep. 21, 2009
- 7 - 22This is Not Gonna End WellMay. 24, 2010
- 7 - 21Gumby with a PokeyMay. 17, 2010
- 7 - 20I Called Him MagooMay. 10, 2010
- 7 - 19Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His GraveApr. 12, 2010
- 7 - 18Ixnay on the Oggie DayMar. 22, 2010
- 7 - 17I Found Your MoustacheMar. 08, 2010
- 7 - 16Tinkle Like a PrincessMar. 01, 2010
- 7 - 15Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)Feb. 08, 2010
- 7 - 14Crude and Uncalled For (1)Feb. 01, 2010
- 7 - 13Yay, No Polyps!Jan. 18, 2010
- 7 - 12Fart Jokes, Pie and CelesteJan. 11, 2010
- 7 - 11Warning, It's DirtyDec. 15, 2009
- 7 - 10That's Why They Call It Ball RoomDec. 07, 2009
- 7 - 9Captain Terry's Spray-On HairNov. 23, 2009
- 7 - 8Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.Nov. 16, 2009
- 7 - 7Untainted by FilthNov. 09, 2009
- 7 - 6Give Me Your ThumbNov. 02, 2009
- 7 - 5For the Sake of the ChildOct. 19, 2009
- 7 - 4Laxative Tester, Horse InseminatorOct. 12, 2009
- 7 - 3Mmm, Fish. Yum.Oct. 05, 2009
- 7 - 2Whipped Unto the Third GenerationSep. 28, 2009
- 7 - 1818-jklpuzoSep. 21, 2009
6Season 6Sep. 22, 2008
- 6 - 24Baseball with Better SteroidsMay. 18, 2009
- 6 - 23Good Morning, Mrs. ButterworthMay. 11, 2009
- 6 - 22Sir Lancelot's Litter BoxMay. 04, 2009
- 6 - 21Above Exalted CyclopsApr. 27, 2009
- 6 - 20Hello, I Am Alan CousteauApr. 13, 2009
- 6 - 19The Two Finger RuleMar. 30, 2009
- 6 - 18My Son's Enormous HeadMar. 16, 2009
- 6 - 17The 'Ocu' Or The 'Pado'?Mar. 09, 2009
- 6 - 16She'll Still Be Dead At HalftimeMar. 02, 2009
- 6 - 15I'd Like to Start With the CatFeb. 09, 2009
- 6 - 14David Copperfield Slipped Me a RoofieFeb. 02, 2009
- 6 - 13I Think You Offended DonJan. 19, 2009
- 6 - 12Thank God for ScoliosisJan. 12, 2009
- 6 - 11The Devil's LubeDec. 15, 2008
- 6 - 10He Smelled the Ham, He Got ExcitedDec. 08, 2008
- 6 - 9The Mooch At The BooNov. 24, 2008
- 6 - 8Pinocchio's MouthNov. 17, 2008
- 6 - 7Best H.O. Money Can BuyNov. 10, 2008
- 6 - 6It's Always Nazi Week (1)Nov. 03, 2008
- 6 - 5A Jock Strap in HellOct. 20, 2008
- 6 - 4The Flavin' and the Mavin'Oct. 13, 2008
- 6 - 3Damn You, Eggs BenedictOct. 06, 2008
- 6 - 2Pie Hole, HerbSep. 29, 2008
- 6 - 1Taterhead is Our Love ChildSep. 22, 2008
5Season 5Sep. 24, 2007
- 5 - 19Waiting for the Right SnapperMay. 19, 2008
- 5 - 18If My Hole Could TalkMay. 12, 2008
- 5 - 17Fish in a DrawerMay. 05, 2008
- 5 - 16Look At Me, Mommy, I'm PrettyApr. 28, 2008
- 5 - 15Rough Night in Hump Junction (aka His Ugly Bundle)Apr. 21, 2008
- 5 - 14Winky-Dink TimeApr. 14, 2008
- 5 - 13The Soil is MoistMar. 31, 2008
- 5 - 12A Little Clammy and None Too FreshMar. 24, 2008
- 5 - 11Meander to Your DanderMar. 17, 2008
- 5 - 10Kinda Like NecrophiliaNov. 26, 2007
- 5 - 9Shoes, Hats, Pickle, Jar Lids.Nov. 19, 2007
- 5 - 8Is There a Mrs. Waffles?Nov. 12, 2007
- 5 - 7The Leather Gear is in the Guest RoomNov. 05, 2007
- 5 - 6Help Daddy Find His ToenailOct. 30, 2007
- 5 - 5Putting Swim Fins on a CatOct. 23, 2007
- 5 - 4City of Great RacksOct. 14, 2007
- 5 - 3Dum Diddy Dum Diddy DooOct. 08, 2007
- 5 - 2Media Room Slash DungeonOct. 01, 2007
- 5 - 1Large Birds, Spiders and MomSep. 24, 2007
4Season 4Sep. 18, 2006
- 4 - 24Prostitutes and GelatoMay. 14, 2007
- 4 - 23Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookinMay. 07, 2007
- 4 - 22Mr. McGlue's FeedbagApr. 30, 2007
- 4 - 21Tucked, Taped and GorgeousApr. 23, 2007
- 4 - 20Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a LotApr. 16, 2007
- 4 - 19Smooth as a Ken DollApr. 09, 2007
- 4 - 18It Never Rains in HootervilleMar. 19, 2007
- 4 - 17I Merely Slept With a CommieFeb. 26, 2007
- 4 - 16Young People Have Phlegm TooFeb. 18, 2007
- 4 - 15My Damn StalkerFeb. 12, 2007
- 4 - 14That's Summer Sausage, Not SalamiFeb. 05, 2007
- 4 - 13Don't Worry, Speed RacerJan. 22, 2007
- 4 - 12Castrating Sheep in MontanaJan. 08, 2007
- 4 - 11Walnuts and DemerolDec. 11, 2006
- 4 - 10Kissing Abraham LincolnNov. 27, 2006
- 4 - 9Corey's Been Dead For an HourNov. 20, 2006
- 4 - 8Release the DogsNov. 13, 2006
- 4 - 7Repeated Blows to His Unformed HeadNov. 06, 2006
- 4 - 6Apologies for the FrivolityOct. 23, 2006
- 4 - 5A Live Woman of Proven FertilityOct. 16, 2006
- 4 - 4A Pot Smoking MonkeyOct. 09, 2006
- 4 - 3The Sea is a Harsh MistressOct. 02, 2006
- 4 - 2Who's Vod Kanockers?Sep. 25, 2006
- 4 - 1Working for CaligulaSep. 18, 2006
3Season 3Sep. 19, 2005
- 3 - 24That Pistol-Packin' HermaphroditeMay. 22, 2006
- 3 - 23Arguments for the QuickieMay. 15, 2006
- 3 - 22Just Once With Aunt SophieMay. 09, 2006
- 3 - 21And the Plot MoistensMay. 01, 2006
- 3 - 20Always a Bridesmaid, Never a BurroApr. 24, 2006
- 3 - 19Golly Moses, She's A MuffinApr. 10, 2006
- 3 - 18The Spit-Covered CobblerMar. 20, 2006
- 3 - 17The Unfortunate Little SchnauserMar. 13, 2006
- 3 - 16Ergo, The Booty CallMar. 06, 2006
- 3 - 15My Tongue is MeatFeb. 27, 2006
- 3 - 14Love Isn't Blind, It's RetardedFeb. 06, 2006
- 3 - 13Humiliation is a Visual MediumJan. 23, 2006
- 3 - 12That Special TugJan. 09, 2006
- 3 - 11Santa's Village of the DamnedDec. 19, 2005
- 3 - 10Something Salted and TwistedNov. 28, 2005
- 3 - 9Madame and Her Special friendNov. 21, 2005
- 3 - 8That Voodoo That I Do DoNov. 14, 2005
- 3 - 7Sleep Tight, Puddin' PopNov. 07, 2005
- 3 - 6Hi, Mr. Horned OneOct. 24, 2005
- 3 - 5We Called It Mr. PinkyOct. 17, 2005
- 3 - 4Your Dismissive Attidude Towards BoobsOct. 10, 2005
- 3 - 3Carpet Burns and a Bite MarkOct. 03, 2005
- 3 - 2Principal Gallagher's Lesbian LoverSep. 26, 2005
- 3 - 1Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic GymnastsSep. 19, 2005
2Season 2Sep. 20, 2004
- 2 - 24Does This Smell Funny to You?May. 23, 2005
- 2 - 23Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, SquabMay. 16, 2005
- 2 - 22That Old Hose Bag Is My MotherMay. 09, 2005
- 2 - 21A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry OnMay. 02, 2005
- 2 - 20I Always Wanted a Shaved MonkeyApr. 18, 2005
- 2 - 19A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping NoiseMar. 21, 2005
- 2 - 18It Was Mame, MomMar. 07, 2005
- 2 - 17Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!Feb. 21, 2005
- 2 - 16Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?Feb. 14, 2005
- 2 - 15Smell the Umbrella StandFeb. 07, 2005
- 2 - 14Those Big Pink Things with CoconutJan. 31, 2005
- 2 - 13Get Off My HairJan. 17, 2005
- 2 - 12A Lungful of AlanJan. 03, 2005
- 2 - 11Last Chance to See Those TattoosDec. 13, 2004
- 2 - 10The Salmon Under My SweaterNov. 29, 2004
- 2 - 9Yes, MonsignorNov. 22, 2004
- 2 - 8Frankenstein and the Horny VillagersNov. 15, 2004
- 2 - 7A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in FontanaNov. 08, 2004
- 2 - 6The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal VigilanceOct. 25, 2004
- 2 - 5Bad News from the ClinicOct. 18, 2004
- 2 - 4Go Get Mommy's BraOct. 11, 2004
- 2 - 3A Bag Full of JaweaOct. 04, 2004
- 2 - 2Enjoy Those Garlic BallsSep. 27, 2004
- 2 - 1Back Off Mary PoppinsSep. 20, 2004
1Season 1Sep. 21, 2003
- 1 - 24Can You Feel My Finger?May. 24, 2004
- 1 - 23Just Like BuffaloMay. 17, 2004
- 1 - 22My Doctor has a Cow PuppetMay. 10, 2004
- 1 - 21No Sniffing, No WowingMay. 03, 2004
- 1 - 20Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the DarkApr. 19, 2004
- 1 - 19I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember YouMar. 22, 2004
- 1 - 18An Old Flame With a New WickMar. 01, 2004
- 1 - 17Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The HatsFeb. 23, 2004
- 1 - 16That Was Saliva, AlanFeb. 16, 2004
- 1 - 15Round One to the Hot Crazy ChickFeb. 09, 2004
- 1 - 14I Can't Afford HyenasFeb. 02, 2004
- 1 - 13Sara Like Puny AlanJan. 12, 2004
- 1 - 12Camel Filters + PheromonesJan. 05, 2004
- 1 - 11Alan Harper, Frontier ChiropractorDec. 15, 2003
- 1 - 10Merry ThanksgivingNov. 24, 2003
- 1 - 9Phase One, CompleteNov. 17, 2003
- 1 - 8Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-fulNov. 10, 2003
- 1 - 7If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually FakeNov. 03, 2003
- 1 - 6
- 1 - 5The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a HumpOct. 19, 2003
- 1 - 4
- 1 - 3Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of HellOct. 05, 2003
- 1 - 2Big Flappy BastardsSep. 28, 2003
- 1 - 1PilotSep. 21, 2003
Creator
Creator
Creator
Cast
Synopsis
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Original titleTwo and a Half Men
First air dateSep. 21, 2003
Last air dateFeb. 19, 2015
Seasons12
Episodes262
IMDb Rating7.1284 549 votes
TMDb Rating7.4653 232 votes